Late twenties aren't so bad...

Have you ever felt like you needed a day to take it all in? Today is definitely that day for me. I'm not in a negative head space or anything, I just haven't had to time to absorb all that has happened over the course of the past few weeks. There has been the launch of my best friend and I's podcast, an offer for our own slot on a radio station, and my 26th birthday.

I have entered my late twenties, and life is a little different than what I imagined it would be. When I was 18, I envisioned myself already graduated from college and entering into the corporate world. I'd have a beaux that I was madly in love with on our way to marriage and starting a family. I also figured I'd own my own gallery by now, but fortunately life hasn't panned out that way. Yes, I said fortunately. Fresh out of high school, the statement "late twenties" just sounds so old, but in retrospect I'm not old at all. Life has really just begun for me.

I will have a degree this time next year, I am finally getting myself together financially and wrapping my head around paying bills responsibly, and not trying to keep up with the Jones'. I know that having those beautiful $150 heeled peep toe booties perched in the Aldo display window is less important that making sure my future is secured. I mean, and where would I even show them off? I'm barely on the club scene and heels aren't apart of my day to day, although I sneak them in once in a while.

 As far as even the thought of having kids and being married right now. *deep sigh of relief* I love my ME time anytime I can get it. Although the thought of having my own family runs across my mind, realistically, I'm not ready and I'm enjoying the freedom and opportunities life has and is still offering me. I don't think I'd be able to fully commit to my projects and give my family the attention and love they deserve. So I can just save that lovely thought for a later date.

At the end of the day, I am glad that life has brought me where I am today. Some people don't live to see age 26 and I thank God that I have been blessed enough to have the opportunity to do so with minor struggle. There is so much more life for me to live. I have grown into a beautiful young woman who still has a lot to learn and I can't wait to explore the road God has paved out in front of me. Wisdom is never given in a hurry so I'd rather count my blessings and enjoy the ride.

Donuts and cigarettes...

This morning I woke up craving delectable chocolate yeast donuts, so I went to this place called The Donut Shop. The whole way there I continuously replayed in my mind how many I would order, what I would get with them, and how good they would taste BUT when I got to the counter I stood there like a lost child, unsure of what I wanted to get. An older gentleman stepped up and ordered like it was nothing, then looked at me and said "girl it ain't THAT hard, it's just donuts". At that point I was forced to make up my mind. I stared the lady behind the counter in her eyes, stated I wanted 12 glazed chocolate yeast balls, and handed her my debit card. Instead of reaching for my card the lady pointed at the sign staring ME right in the face that read "cash only". Disappointed and embarrassed, I went to marsh, grabbed the last chocolate yeast donut and called it a day. In the car I whipped out my donut and started to smash. In the midst of taking a bite I looked to my left and in the next car there was a girl, around my age, basking in the smoke of a cigarette that she was thoroughly enjoying...instant judgment is what happened in my mind. "Why is she smoking that?" "Doesn't she know that's bad for her?" "I know her fingers stink" Then I realized, she could say the same thing about me and the donut I was so eagerly smashing while creepily glancing in her car.

The point of all of this is we must be patient in all that we do. Rushing into a decision will cause you to overlook the details that you may not have missed had you been paying attention. We must choose to make good decisions. I could've just gone to work after my failed donut purchase attempt, but instead, I ignored the signs around me and made the wrong decision based on how I felt. Last but not least, we must not judge others. Often we see others and judge them, then justify what we do by saying "it's not as bad as" or  "smoking and donuts are two different things". Bad is bad...good is good, there is no in between. Who are we to judge others when we all make mistakes?

Today will be about not judging others, practicing patience, and choosing to make the right decision. Challenge yourself by paying attention to your decisions and how you justify them. That is a great way of focusing more time on improving yourself instead of wasting time focusing on someone else’s faults.  Can you imagine how many positive things we could have accomplished with all the time we wasted worrying about someone else?

4/19/13

Are you insane?!

According to Albert Einstein, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.   Based on that, how many of us are insane?  How many of us have talked to a guy or been in a relationship, made the same mistakes and expected things to be different that time? I know I have.

I was inspired at church this Sunday by our youth pastor who said, “If you keep getting smacked around by every boyfriend you get with, it’s probably not them, and you may need to change something within yourself.” It got me thinking about the kinds of people I attract. I run into Mr. Unavailable a lot, but why? Then it hit me! I’m Miss Unavailable! I’m not open with my feelings…with ANYBODY. Hell, I don’t even really know what I want right now. How can I expect to find someone who’s ready to settle down and knows exactly what they want if I don’t know myself? So, I’ve decided to focus on figuring out what it is that I want. In all areas of my life, like the type of friends I want. The kind that judge you and talk behind your back, or the ones that love you no matter what and encourage you to do what’s best whether you want to hear it or not.  The people I want to associate myself with in general. Will I hang out with people who aren’t doing anything and don’t have goals or one’s who strive to be better? This week is about bettering ourselves, learning from our mistakes, and making changes the will benefit us in the future. Think about the situations you repeatedly find yourself in. Is it something you can change or is it everyone else around you? What will you change?

4/22/13